Letting sadness go away

So, i'm so sad right now. I googled ways on letting sadness go away. So, one of them is to write down 100 ways of which you're happy with, and i'm writting it down here... So, here it is...
1) supportive family by my side every single day.
2) when shuhadah make funny faces.
3)friends who always crack jokes.
4)reading
5)Cycling
6)shopping!!!
7)watching police wearing their uniform.
8)driving while singing loudly.
9)smiling at people.
10)eating my favourite food.
11)when people show me they care.
12)when someone tell me i look nice.
13)passing my exams
14)thinking il be successful in the future.
15) when imagining myself in police uniform.
16)when i get my pay.
17) when i get something i like.
18) people treating me well.
19) getting into poly.
20) achieving my goals
21) getting what i dream for
22) going to the beach
23) swimming
24) buying something for my love one
25) getting new clothes
26) loved by someone
27) when i'm pimple-free
28) being slim
29) having suzuki swift as my ride.
30) dreaming of mini cooper as my ride!
31) having someone that care for me so much to risk his/her life
32) feeling the adrenalin rush!
33) being pretty
34) having lots of money
35) hindustan.
36) comedy
37) perfect life which will nvr come true!!!!
38) being in a parade square
39) in charge of something
40) lazagna
41) wearing no.1 police uniform again
42) shouting commands!
43) think of my parents
44) playing with babies.
45) dreaming of my future.
46) dreaming of having baby of my own.
47) spagetti!!
48) being with my best friend, amirah
49) going back to my old school.
50) surrounded by my beloved one.
51) being able to spend money on family
52) long hair
53) not wearing specs
54) owning rows of straight teeth
55) having nike shoes
56) able to vent out my anger and sadness by punching the damn walls
57) number 7!


I only have this much. When i'm writing this down, i felt like putting down the sad one. Cause there's more sad to the happy one. Hais!

Holding on.

I'm on my way home from mustafa now. Pespiring! Its hot. I'm sitting at the back.
Today Morning, accompany mama to market to buy stuff.
Afternoon, we went fishing at usual place. Nothing much...
Ive been down lately. I don't why i'm expect people to treat me nice. I need attention:( i'm not attention seeker, i just want to felt loved by someone. Hais.
Argh!! Hot!! K bye.

Im so sad

I can't sleep, i guess its because i had 1 hour nap just now, and im so sad to even sleep:( my heart hurts, and no one care. I wish i have no tears left.
Last sat, almost hit another car. Wasn't my fault though.
Ok, im frustrated with my phone keypad. Always type in different letter.
I've make a goal today which i really really wanna accomplish. I want to lose weight that ive gain. Looking back at the past year photo, i look nicer compared to now.
Sad...

Anothing phase test

This friday would be the third phase test. I think i can easily pass this, with lot of practice. This time round, no paper allow.
I reached school an hour late, despite teacher nagging last week. I couldn't care less. Practice for the phase test, then Mr Victor teach another new software. A lot of stuff to memorize.
School end at 1 but i stayed untill 1.40 to practice. Fetch Ada after school an head home. Had my lunch and go to bed. Sleepy~
Woke up at 5, eat again. Hehe. Then fetch Iman and went of to Jurong west st 51 to cut hair. Regret cutting! Very ugly. Hais. I thought it'll turn out like the style i cut before, but no!
So now, waiting for vanilla coklat to start...
Ok, done now. Byebye

Give up

I have low esteem and yet no one help me to overcome it. One minute i have confident on everything, and another, all that confident dies just by one heartless person. I wonder why i make effort putting on make up, wear nice clothes, when nothing i do will be appreciated. I would sometime think back, why must i wear nice cloth, be slim, be prefect when i will never be appreciated.

I smile, doesn't mean I'm not hurt.

Laziness

Been a little lazy to blog this days. So... Here i am, blogging bout today:)
Today went out at 8am for school. Caught in jam for about 20 freaking minutes! That does not only involve one jam, but THREE! And I'm late for my practical test! I still manage to pass though, according to Mr Roger.
Test ends at 10.45 exact. Coil all the cable properly and Mr Roger, himself, escort us out.
Rush home, pick mama, Ada and Iman. Sent Iman and Ada to school and we off to Johor to buy stuff.
Fetch Ada before we went home.. Blahblah... Cik sal drop by our house. She's fun, joker.. Haha. Then Kak ella and abg loloy came.
At 7+, went to jurong west st 51 to cut hair, but it was close:( We went to boon lay but all the shop there was expensive. Hais hais.
Then meet Fai, Mai and Siti under Siti's block. I miss the time i spend with them.
Then head home. Now messaging with syg:) He having his first aid course. My time already over! Hahaha.